


The Swiss Army Man Fic Writer Has Left The Building

by cuddyclothes



Category: Swiss Army Man (2016)
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Scene Gone Wrong, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 02:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10675908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddyclothes/pseuds/cuddyclothes
Summary: What happens when a fanfic writer leaves her characters in a very strange place. E.G. Two characters in search of a fic writer.Fanart by swissarmyfam (https://swissarmyfam.tumblr.com/)This is not a part of the After Verse.  Just a weird little thing.





	The Swiss Army Man Fic Writer Has Left The Building

 

 

My latest SAM fic keeps derailing. The main thing is that the beach house I keep seeing is the one my family rents for two weeks every summer. It’s too damn vivid and is simply wrong. No, I can’t imagine them there.

Wait, I can imagine them there. Then Hank and Manny would have to be hanging out with my elderly mother while my brother drinks and cooks and yells, “hey! Dead homo! Get me a beer!”

“I don’t like these people, Hank.”

“Me neither, but they buy Cheese Puffs by the case. And paper towels.”

“Why do you care about paper towels?"

“Trust me, Manny. Just trust me.”

“HEY! DEAD HOMO! BEER! NOW!”

“I don’t trust you, Hank. Can you carry me up to the roof so I can look at the water and pretend we’re not with the writer’s family? That old lady keeps telling me I need a haircut.”

“Where’s the writer, Manny? Hey, _I’ll_ get your damn beer! My friend can’t walk!”

“ _Crippled_ dead homo!”

"Don't talk to Manny like that!"

"Fuck you, Hank!"

“Fuck _you_!”

“No, fuck _you_!”

“Boys, stop all that goddamn swearing! Manny, don’t you feel embarrassed by your hair? Your friend Hank got a haircut, and see how nice he looks?”

“Jesus, Mom, all I’m asking for is a beer! I’m making risotto, I can’t go anywhere! What is that dead homo and his weird buddy doing here, anyway?”

“The writer put us here, and then she left. We can’t go anywhere until she shows up. Come on, Manny, I’m carrying you up to the roof. Fuck this shit.”

“MOM, GET ME MY GODDAMN BEER!”

 

**************

 

“Hank, can we get out of here?”

“No, Manny, not until the writer gets her shit together and imagines us in a different house.”

“But why can’t she do it _now_ , Hank?”

“You’ll have to ask her. Look, Manny, dolphins!”

 


End file.
